


soonyoung, the first

by soonseoks



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hehehe, M/M, Smut, and im writing it, enjoy, ion know man, it has, ive been thinking about this for days, nice, seoksoon, some - Freeform, soonseok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 06:51:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11777763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soonseoks/pseuds/soonseoks
Summary: Soonyoung was Seokmin's first.





	1. one

It had been 4 years since Seokmin realized his hands got sweaty not only from being nervous about failing a note or messing up the choreography but because his heart beat so loud around Soonyoung, the boy was afraid the latter could hear it. And he didn't want that to happen, at all. The young Seokmin was still so insecure about himself, his thoughts felt like waves crashing against the walls of his skull whenever he glanced over at the elder and they gave him some good headaches. Why did he like the sound of his laugh so much? Why did he find him so endearing? Why would his breath stop whenever Soonyoung held his waist or touched his thighs? How was Soonyoung so hot when he danced? Too many questions, so many. 

One thing Seokmin was sure of was that he was thankful they grew really close to each other and became really good friends. Probably the best best friend Seokmin had ever had. Being as close as they were, they felt incredibly comfortable with each other, would wear each other's underwear, would shower together, spend full nights awake giggling in the dark as they whispered to each other or simply cuddled to sleep. But it wasn't always this good. Seokmin's heart would sink every time he'd see Soonyoung being touchy with someone else or sleep on other bed. Gosh, it was the worst feeling ever. He wanted the boy all to himself and at the same time, he thought he was ridiculous for thinking like this. He couldn't help but bitterly glance at his best friend and also crush being that intimate with someone else. 

The most interesting part? Seokmin had never felt this way for anyone else. Soonyoung was his first real love. Soonyoung was the first person to make Seokmin realize true love existed. And it was beautiful, and it was painful. 

When Soonyoung got a boyfriend at school, Seokmin remembers crying on the bathroom floor when he found out, very late at night. He did that for 5 days straight. His first ever heartbreak. His little heart ached so much, all he could do was lock himself in the bathroom and sob. The boy wasn't that discreet though. He cried a little too loud and a couple of members had heard him. One of them was Seungkwan and he accompanied him on the last night. The night when Seokmin spilled everything he felt about Soonyoung to Seungkwan and started to feel better (not for long).

"I love him so much" His crying was muffled and it physically hurt Seungkwan to see the boy, someone who was always so happy and cheerful, in that state. "W-Why doesn't he love me back?"

"You see," The two were sitting on the tiled floor so Seungkwan scooted closer to place a hand on his back and rub it gently, trying to comfort Seokmin as the boy sobbed into his hands. "Maybe he hasn't seen how much of a great guy you are. You know Soonyoung's relationships don't last too long and he can't keep him and he's not going to marry him anyway so... You'll get your chance, Seokmin".

Looking up at him with puffy eyes, tears still running down his cheeks and a little pout, sniffling, Seokmin nodded his head and mumbled. 

"Y-you really think so? D-Do you actually think Soonyoung will ever like me t-that way?"

Sincerely smiling at him, Seungkwan nodded his head and wrapped his arm around him. "You'll see. Just be patient and let things happen".

He took the advice. He felt incredibly better after he talked to Seungkwan but something he forgot about was the fact that the kid had inevitably shared with the other members about how Seokmin was feeling. Even if it were just the members that had heard Seokmin crying, it was totally going to get to Soonyoung. And it was the most awkward, uncomfortable thing Seokmin had ever experience. One morning, Soonyoung casually walks to Seokmin and looks at him with pure worry in his eyes and voice. He remembers that moment so vividly, it makes him cringe every time. 

"Seokminie, were you crying because of me a few weeks ago?" 

"N-No, who told you that?" He laughed nervously and watched Soonyoung's expression lighting up, a grin growing on his face. 

"Do you, by any chance, have a crush on me, Seokminie?" 

Seokmin had never wanted to disappear that badly. He couldn't even force any expression anymore, just blankly stared at him for a minute and then turned his face away, mumbling a "no". He had never been so embarrassed in front of Soonyoung, his best friend. 

"Aw, you're so cute" Reaching his hand to pinch his cheek, Soonyoung smiled. "No need to be jealous, I'm still your best friend, Seokminie" 

Seokmin nodded his head and left out a chuckle. "I'm glad you are". He would be truly glad if they were more than just best friends, but at least Soonyoung still thought about him and the almost-confession didn't ruin anything between them.

As Seungkwan assumed, Soonyoung and his little boyfriend broke up after a short time. Seokmin felt happier than ever to have his friend all to himself again. Whenever they could, they would hang out, just the two of them. And Seokmin left it clear that he didn't have a crush on him, which was a big lie. He was still deeply in love with his best friend. He was also visibly afraid of getting rejected by him. It was better to be happy with his friend than to be heartbroken by his crush, right?

Though, it happened again, one year later. Soonyoung started to date another guy and this time it lasted longer and they were one of those cute couples. Every time Soonyoung came back to the dorm after a little date, he looked happier than ever and showed everyone the cute pics he had taken with his boyfriend, the fact they were almost always going on dates, the unsettling fact that Soonyoung slept over his house for one night. Once again, Seokmin was heartbroken. The guy was having everything he wished he could have with Soonyoung. But Seokmin had also grown older and grown used to the fact that he couldn't own his friend so he was as supportive as he could, forcing a smile as he held the pictures of someone else being affectionate with his biggest crush and bestest friend. 

Hopelessly in love, Seokmin was tired of feeling jealous, even if Soonyoung was single again. Plus, he couldn't forget him or ignore his feelings because he sucks at doing that. The last and first time he tried, Seokmin thought it would be a great idea to just be unreasonably mean with Soonyoung and ignore him. It just made the elder cry because he thought he had done something wrong and Seokmin still feels incredibly bad about that to this day and promised himself he wouldn't do anything stupid again. But what should he do? Soonyoung keeps giving mixed messages and it's ruining Seokmin. Whenever he looks at Soonyoung 3 years after, the guy has grown so handsome and whenever Seokmin's eyes fall on him, he can clearly see why he loves him and what made him fall in love. How his smile looks adorable when it pushed his soft cheeks up, how his small eyes look so endearing when they glister, his contagious laugh, his sense of humor, the way he does the things he loves with so much passion. Seokmin just wanted to hold his face as gentle as he could and look into his eyes, tell him how much he loves him and kiss him with every drop of love he has. He daydreamed about how would their first kiss be, and what did Soonyoung's lips taste and felt like on his, where they would be when it happened, how magical it'd feel. Every single day.

For 4 years.


	2. two

Glad he didn't have to wonder any longer. Seokmin could say their first kiss was magical but it was also eye opening and overwhelming, all at the same time. The two were on the sidewalk, under some street light. They had gone out with Joshua, Seungkwan, Hansol and Chan late at night to buy some snacks. But it was the 3rd store they walked into and Seokmin informed everyone that he'd wait outside with the two plastic bags full of food they had already bought from the previous stores. When Soonyoung told the others he was going to wait outside as well, Seokmin couldn't not smile at the elder's presence. And there they were, pretty much alone, it was almost midnight and there were no people in the streets, just a few cars passing by every now and then. 

Could that be considered stargazing? They both weren't sure and laughed as they questioned out loud while staring up at the starry night sky. Soonyoung sighed, gave a few little steps to walk behind Seokmin and gently wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. And again, Seokmin stopped breathing, trying to process what was happening, dropping the plastic bags on the floor.

"You're tense, Seokmin..." The older whispered softly, close to his ear. The guy had his eyes on the sky but he knew he had that little smirk of his. "You can relax, you're safe in my arms. I'm not going to hurt you"

At that point, Seokmin was afraid his heart was going to jump out of his chest or that his body was vibrating from how much his heart was pounding. He gulped at the guy's words and did his best to rest in his arms, taking a deep breath as he did so. Doesn't matter how usual their skinship is, it leaves Seokmin really flustered every single time. 

"Is there anything bothering you, Seokminie? Are you nervous about anything?" There was a sincere worry in Soonyoung's voice, Seokmin found it cute and a smile grew on his lips.

"No, hyung. I'm just... tired, I guess..."

"Is it... the choreo or something?" Soonyoung pouted. "Is it too hard?"

Seokmin shook his head, the smile growing wider on his lips. "Not that much. I just need a good night of sleep".

Soonyoung tightened his arms around his waist and let a faint laugh escape his lips. The younger moved his body in his arms so he could look at the other. Hopefully, he wouldn't notice how red Seokmin's cheeks were.

"Hyung will cuddle with you tonight so you'll have the greatest night of sleep. Does that sound good?"

He couldn't lie, he loved being babied by Soonyoung, even though he'd occasionally say he's not a baby anymore but he loved the fact that Soonyoung cared and treated him so well but he hoped it wasn't in a brotherly way. As always, he shyly smiled and nodded in response to that.

The elder leaned back against the wall behind them and pulled Seokmin with him, making the younger face him completely, his arms tightly wrapped around his waist again and his eyes staring into his. Even if he wanted to look away, he couldn't. It was like Soonyoung's eyes were two black holes pulling him in. Like they were honey and Seokmin was an innocent butterfly who was attracted to their sweetness and is now stuck. They were silent but the silence sounded so sweet, especially because they were looking into each other's eyes so tenderly.

"You look really pretty, Seokminie" Soonyoung broke the silence, smiling. Pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes, he whispered: "You're so cute...".

Their lips were so close. Seokmin gulped again and he didn't even notice his lips were slightly parted as Soonyoung glanced down at them. Last time Seokmin remembers looking into Soonyoung's eyes before it happened was when the elder shyly murmured "Can I...Can I give you a good night kiss?".

Even if he couldn't believe that was happening, he nodded his head, a familiar heat rising up to his cheeks and taking over his chest. He had been waiting for that for too long, plus for some good 5 seconds, he thought Soonyoung would kiss his nose or forehead or cheek. But no. He actually closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side to press their lips together. Seokmin slowly closed his eyes as he melted into the kiss, hyper aware of everything that was happening. How soft Soonyoung's lips were, how well he kissed. They stopped for a few seconds to giggle embarrassedly about a noisier kiss but went straight back to kissing after, very softly and slowly to not make any noticeable noise again. Seokmin was enjoying every bit of it so much but his knees felt so weak, he could swear that he was starting to sweat from the heat built inside of him and wasn't sure if his eyes were also sweating or those were actually tears from how good it felt. The best part was that Soonyoung didn't seem like he wanted to pull away either, his hands were resting on Seokmin's hips while the younger's slightly shaking and sweating hands had made its way to gently hold his face. Both were really deep into the kiss.

So deep that the two lovely boys might have forgotten about their friends. As soon as they hear Chan step out of the store, they instantly pull apart and Soonyoung can feel Seokmin's body flinch at the younger's sudden presence.

"Hyung!" As Chan walked closer, Seokmin automatically walks away from Soonyoung to pick the plastic bags he held earlier. "I bought some of your favorites" He cutely informed the elder, making him smile and ruffle Chan's hair, resulting in both giggling.

"You're the cutest dongsaeng, what would I do without you?"

And he threw his arm around Chan's neck, both had their dorky smiles on their faces. It was true that Soonyoung and Chan were really close, almost like siblings, but why did Seokmin feel jealous? Did he really think Chan is his cutest dongsaeng? He had just told Seokmin he was pretty and cute and they kissed for some solid 5 minutes. What did all of that mean?

When Seungkwan walked out of the store with Hansol and Joshua following behind them, they started to walk back home together and Seokmin had to pretend he was okay. He wasn't. At first, he felt like he had dreamed about everything but the smirk Soonyoung gave him made him realize it did happen. After 4 years, Seokmin's lips finally met Soonyoung's. They kissed and it was blissful, as far as Seokmin remembers. He was still laughing and talking to everyone but inside, he was dying. 

On one hand, he felt butterflies and he couldn't stop smiling even if he wanted to. On the other hand, he was overthinking. He started to question himself about it, if he kissed well, if the feeling was mutual, if Soonyoung had done this to any other member. But it was when they finally got home that he realized. He watched Soonyoung hold the door open for the members to walk in but he was left behind. Soonyoung was still there, waiting for him, giving him a soft smile. And his honey eyes were sparkling, such a loving stare, but the only thing that they were seeing was... Seokmin. And his beautiful freshly dyed blonde hair danced lightly with the breeze while his skin shone under the moonlight. Could he look any better than that?

The elder walked closer, keeping that loving gaze on him and letting the door close. Holding Seokmin's face in his hands, he placed another gentle kiss on his lips. Seokmin's eyes widened as he realized. In that moment he realized and he felt it in his heart. As Soonyoung mumbled against his lips with a small smile, not wanting to let them go.

"It's cold out here. Let's go inside".

Between their first and second kiss, Seokmin realized that Soonyoung liked him back. And he had never felt so good in 4 years.


End file.
